A Guide to Sharing the Mental Load with Your Partner
Mental load is the often-invisible work of everything it takes to maintain your day-to-day. It includes planning, organizing, delegating, and remembering—all the behind-the-scenes thinking that keeps your life running smoothly.
From scheduling doctor’s appointments to ensuring you don't run out of toothpaste, mental load involves countless tasks that are easy to overlook.
The problem? Mental load is often unevenly distributed, with one partner taking on the majority of this invisible work. This imbalance can lead to stress, burnout, and tension in relationships.
This guide is designed for couples: to help you first start the conversation, then walk through the process of building systems that give you both more free time and peace of mind.
Are you looking for a way to better share not just the household responsibilities, but the mental load, with your partner?
I'm with you.
Whether you’re navigating the complexities of family life with kids or simply sharing a home with a partner, this 15-page step-by-step guide is designed to help you create a more balanced and supportive environment.
Are you thinking, "Sounds great, but my partner is not interested" ...
The first step toward sharing the mental load is having clear and open communication. And that's where the guide starts.
This guide will walk you and your partner through the steps below in a way that's simple and practical:
💛 Communicating about your current mental load
💛 Identifying all that contributes to it
💛 Organizing the information into clear and manageable categories
💛 Building systems to share the load effectively and equitably
💛 Establishing regular check-ins to revisit and adjust as life changes.
But can we actually improve things?
First of all, being tired and overwhelmed is a systems problem. It's not a reflection of your value or character. In fact, it means that you're trying. The goal isn't just to shift work from one person to another. That might be part of it, but the real solution is in the systems.
The good news is: if your current systems aren't working, you can improve them or design new ones that do work.
This guide walks through a process (that actually works!) and gives you practical strategies you can implement, either little by little or with a total overhaul.
Want a preview?
After the intro and communications section, here is a roadmap for the rest of the guide.
You'll walk through this process step by step, and you'll use a mental load worksheet with 100+ examples that I've compiled for you. Things you are likely already doing, which are contributing to your mental load. You'll build on those examples, then work through reallocating them in a way that makes sense and designing systems to reduce your collective mental load as a couple (which is always the end goal).
Are you ready to start sharing the mental load?
If you're tired and overwhelmed, but don't know where to start. This guide is your first step.
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Mockingbird Learning + Consulting LLC
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